First of the NSTs...

So, today I had the first non-stress test, I'll be having 2 a week from here on out. I wish mine would have been comfortably laying down like the cartoon drawing, but instead, they had me in one of those weird recliners and I had to lay on my side in the recliner. It took a while for the lady to get the receptor on Harper's heartbeat consistently because he started moving around. Then she leaves me in there and says she'll come back to check on me and gives me a JEOPARDY type button to press every time I feel Harper move. So after about 5 minutes, the stupid machine starts making this horrid alarm sound. I'm in the chair trying not to freak out about what is happening when finally the lady comes back in and pushes some buttons on the machine. In the midst of this, she turns off the printout to try and readjust the receptor so that it is in a position to keep picking up his heartbeat regardless of where he is positioned in my belly. So now after about 8 minutes of moving it around, she has it positioned where it is picking up his hearbeat really strong, then again leaves the room saying she'll come back and check on me. About 10 minutes later she comes back and I have to tell her that it isn't printing, to which she first tries to explain that it has to be picking up consistently to print (which it had been for the last 10 minutes while she wasn't in there and continued to while she was standing there) then says well, no it should be printing. Then she hovers over the machine totally bewildered why it isn't printing (all I could think was that she doesn't even remember turning the dumb thing off when she came in after the whole alarm deal). After a few minutes of staring at the machine, she finally hits the red button to make the printer turn on again. The thing is that they have to have like 20 minutes worth of data for this test. I had already been there like 45 minutes and now we are having to start again...if only that had been the last "snag" but no, then the stupid printer paper startes feeding back into itself while I'm in there once again by myself awkwardly situated on the stupid recliner with the JEOPARDY buzzer in my hand trying to reach across to yank the printer paper feed out of the printer. When she came back in, she was so pleased to see the length of the paper like she had some great stuff, only to be shocked by the length of paper that was blank because it had been folded ontop of itself in the printer. ARRGGHH! About 15 minutes later I was finally done, well done with that part. Now I had to do the usual, pee in the clear plastic SOLO cup (don't see this kind in the PARTY-PICS) then had to sit in the room for a little while before my nurse came back in to get me to weigh in and then do my blood pressure. Now back to the examining room, wait some more to see the doctor who really just needs to come in to measure my belly, tell me everything looks great and to make sure I'm there on Tuesday and Friday to go through the whole thing again...all this to say I've been a cranky mess all day and I'm ready to be done with today. Can I get an AMEN?